Bipolar Weatherman

Howdy there! How are you today? I decided that I’m going to add a “Critters” section on certain days to my daily log along with my daily eats and mental health – the animals are just so damn important to me, so I’m going to do daily pics and updates of them too. Here we go ~

The Critters

Mr. Drogo was out warming himself under his heat lamp, and he was too precious not to share! He’s getting so big and slow, ha! Speaking of slithery friends, the Tri-State Reptile Expo is coming up soon, and we’re definitely going – that’s where we bought Drogo last September, and although we don’t have the funds to buy him a pricey little friend at this point, we love looking and dreaming!

Calliope was warming herself on Drogo’s cage this morning …

Persephone was lounging on the couch …

And Caprica was working out some frustrations on the scratching post! Work it out, work it out, meow, meow!

Breakfast

I wasn’t very hungry this morning after my two cups of Joe. I knew that I needed to eat regardless, so I crappily hard-boiled two eggs – they turned out more soft-boiled than anything, but that’s okay – and served them with S+P and French’s Spicy Mustard. I also enjoyed some strawberries sprinkled with sugar … this breakfast is a reprise of what I had yesterday, I realize, but it’s a great protein-filled little breakfast for someone who’s not too hungry. Green Tea to drink! (I’m holding off on the Green Vibrance until I get some OJ to drink with that shit, it nasty in plain water.)

Lunch

I roasted some broccoli, carrots, red onion, a bite of tomato, and green bell pepper with S+P and Fajita Seasoning, my usual seasoning mix, and served them with hummus, light Fiesta ranch, and Pace salsa (no shit, Mandy) for dipping. For the protein-portion of my lunch, I had a Fage Total Strawberry Yogurt with a bite of fresh mango … we have a ton of fresh fruit that I’m trying to eat up! Vanilla Chai Tea to drink.

Dinner

I baked a chicken breast using that Healthy Baked Cheddar Ranch Chicken again (we had leftovers, and I try to use everything up before going shopping again) and served half of it up with some BBQ sauce (the other half went into Luke’s dinner container). I also sauteed up some kale, spinach, squash, and zucchini in a bit of butter and EVOO with garlic salt and pepper. Such a simple dinner, y’all, I couldn’t ask for much easier.

Exercise and Mental Health

My weather-sensitive body was right – it rained and rained last night, and according to my Misfit Ray, I got 11 hours of sleep … I woke up at 9 instead of my usual 7, humph. Why need a weatherman when you can just have bipolar disorder, damn it! I AM THE BIPOLAR WEATHERMAN, Y’ALL! (That’s my new title of many, such as The Teller of Tall-Tales, The Pissy Cleaning Lady, the Covered-in-Hair Crazy Cat Lady, and the Ultimate Bitch Lunch Lady.)

I woke up feeling jittery and a wee bit manic, wondering about the point of it all – I cleaned the entire apartment as Luke slept – and then a heavy depression set in over the early afternoon. I didn’t even want to go lift weights and started crying for no reason at all. Lucky for me, Luke doesn’t take “no” for an answer easily when it comes to lifting weights, and he encouraged me to go anyway. We went for about 45 minutes and did arms. I felt better after lifting, but I was noticeably very tired afterwards.

I’ve noticed that I keep a running dialogue with myself over my size – I have to tell myself over and over “You’re NOT fat, Mandy, you’re not fat,” “you’re NOT hungry and don’t need to binge, Mandy,” and “you don’t have to throw up your lunch, Mandy.” It’s still a battle, but I’m winning. It’s strange, it doesn’t *feel* like I’m doing anything monumental here, but I guess I am. I had this same internal dialogue when I stopped drinking, and it worked, so here’s hoping!

In blog news, I hope to buy that domain name in a few weeks. We just had a massive hit with car repairs (both cars, damn it – Luke’s 1990 4-Runner needed a complete tune-up, and my little Kia Optima needed a new windshield and tires and inspection), so our finances are wee bit tight right now. That’s okay though … it all needed to be done, and I’ll get my domain name sooner than later!

Now I’m off to rest, relax, drink a cup of coffee and watch Expedition Unknown! Have a nice evening, my friends!

 

Juggling My Moods

I’m dealing with being a touch low today, my friends. I’m finding that it’s harder to write on here when I’m juggling my moods, but I’m going to soldier on today and just simply write!

The kitties were out sunning themselves in the morning light – I snapped pictures of Caprica and Persephone, but little chubby-chub Calliope was nowhere to be found.

Breakfast

This morning I took my pills with some Starbucks Caramel Coffee + stevia + milk + a small bit of coconut oil (I need them fatty acids, damn it!). I also tried something new – Tropicana Essentials Probiotics in Pineapple Mango. This drink was a delightful way to start off the morning. It absolutely tastes like pineapples and mango, and I think it would be a great addition to a smoothie. It’s full of probiotics, so that’s a huge bonus as I need probiotics to heal my poor ravaged gut (seriously, my gut has issues, and I may need to see a GI doctor before this is all over).

I enjoyed a nice hot bowl of banana oatmeal for breakfast – my concoction was 1/2 C of Quaker oats, 1 banana, 1 C of 2% milk, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and vanilla. I topped my oats with a spoonful of maple almond butter, a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkling of Honey Roasted Granola by Honey Bunches of Oats.

I think I ate too much at breakfast. I’m going to try eating a little less tomorrow as this meal was just so BIG for my sensitive tummy and left me with a crummy stomachache. I think I’ll settle for a piece of fruit, an egg or two, or some yogurt for breakfast from now on.

Lunch

Today I had a simple lunch before I went to get my tattoos touched up – Luke wanted a protein smoothie, and I decided that I needed one too. I tossed a banana, 2 scoops of protein powder, a cup and a half of milk, a goodly splash of Tropicana Pineapple Mango, some large strawberries, and tons of ice into the blender … yum! My only regret is that I didn’t add the spinach I just bought into the smoothie, but I can next time! I also enjoyed a Pacific Rose apple with a touch of almond butter and cinnamon (and my Laxobolic pill).

Dinner

Tonight I had four eggs scrambled with S+P, spinach, and cheddar cheese, topped with three pieces of bacon and Sriracha … a mandarin orange on the side! Easy peasy.

Exercise and Mental Health

As I said earlier, I had some depression today, you guys. It was very crummy. My brain just had “low and drained” on default today, I suppose, and that’s how I felt most of the day. I managed to shower and get dressed without a problem and had an appointment at 1 with Lynsey, my kickass tattoo artist. I needed touch-ups done on my wrist tattoos which I got about a year ago, and she does her touch-ups for free! She didn’t even want to accept the tip I offered her as she “stands by her work.” Such a sweetheart. Here are my three tats:I was able to go to the gym with Luke and do arm weights despite my mood. We did mostly free weights today, and I had the biggest pump going! I’d like to do free weights more often (the free weight area gets crowded at the gym, and Luke and I both prefer space when working out). I didn’t make my cardio session today due to the depression, but I’m hoping to remedy that very soon. πŸ˜‰

Luke and I stopped at Total Nutrition to see his friend Sam, who works there, and to purchase more of our precious Pump N Grow:

I LOVE ME SOME PUMP N GROW, Y’ALL! It’s stimulant-free, so it’s wonderful for this bipolar girl on medications. If I take a pre-workout, I get jittery and dizzy and ultimately very sick feeling in my head and stomach. No bueno. However, I have absolutely NO reaction to Pump N Grow whatsoever except for getting a nice warmΒ  feeling in my veins and muscles when I lift. It also tastes great … the flavors you can get are Plain (which reminds me of a light Gatorade) and Fruit Pump (tastes like a fruit snack). I highly recommend it! Nope, this isn’t an ad lol – I just really like Pump N Grow!

Here’s hoping for a brighter and depression-free tomorrow, my friends!

Cuddle with Your Demons

Howdy y’all! How are you today?

Having a so-so day like I was when I woke up? Well here’s a Calliope-cat vigorously licking her butt-hole! Now doesn’t that make you feel better? πŸ˜‰

I told Luke to “cuddle with yo’ demon” (you bet your ass that’s a Futurama reference!), so he picked up an unsuspecting Persephone and had a nice cuddle! Persephone looked completely betrayed by him as she sauntered off the couch.

Breakfast

I had a simple and tasty breakfast of a Brown Cow maple yogurt, one large banana, some almonds, and a drizzle of honey. The almonds were SO tasty and added a nice healthy crunch to my little parfait. Coffee to drink! I “healthified” my two cups of coffee this morning and simply had milk instead of creamer along with a touch of stevia. I was surprised by how tasty my coffee is with just a hearty pour of milk. My gabapentin, buspar, calcium supplement, probiotic, laxobolic, and epigrow were taken on the side!

Lunch

After my first workout, I came home and had another cup of coffee and then I sipped on hot peppermint tea with stevia out of my Yeti mug. After I was good and hungry, I roasted some red onion, some cauliflower, broccoli, and a large carrot (seasoned with S+P and fajita seasoning) and warmed up a bit of leftover steak and mushrooms from Outback. I put my steak on some lightly salted cucumber rounds as little crackers and dipped my lunch-y munch-ies in a little bit of salsa, hummus, and ranch dressing (I’m trying to cut back, I swear! This is a smaller amount that usual!).

My lunch was rather large for me as I ate too many veggies and felt far too full, so I resolved to tone my dinner down a bit. (I made Luke two steak and potato burritos with eggs and cheese for lunch, and I wasn’t even tempted by them, ha!)

Dinner

In keeping with staying lighter at dinner, I started off with an apple and plenty of cinnamon and nutmeg …

… and then I sipped on two glasses of a thick ‘n creamy vanilla cinnamon smoothie while watching Expedition Unknown. My mix was a cup of milk, a massive handful of ice cubes for thickness, a large banana, a scoop of vanilla protein powder, and cinnamon. YUM!

Exercise and Mental Health

Today I weighed 128 lbs upon waking up … 2 pounds to my goal weight of 130! πŸ™‚ (I had it in my head that our trip to Outback would make me gain at least a pound or two, but I only gained .2 pounds.)

I woke up in a very LOW mood, y’all – I was groggy and grumpy, had some negative thoughts and anxiety going, and I simply felt like feeling sorry for myself … SO I went to the gym to work that bitchy mood out of my system! I did the elliptical for 50 minutes and walked/ran for 10 minutes. I also did a ton of sit ups when I came home. Let’s just say that I was “cuddling with my mental demons” today through working out!

I must say that this approach to my moodiness was a positive one, as I came back from the gym feeling positive and less anxious. I truly believe that exercise is the most underutilized antidepressant, as they say.

Around 2:30, I mixed both of us some Pump N Grow (we’re now out and need to take a trip to Total Nutrition, boo hiss!) and we headed to the gym to do arm weights for about 40 minutes.

Luke snapped some pics of me doing bicep curls … the first one is INSANE and totally shows my sarcastic little my personality (I started laughing my ass off).
I’m SUPER pleased with my progress, y’all. I’m looking and feeling great!

Mentally, I started off in a grumpy and low mood, but I obviously perked up after my first workout and was stable for the rest of the day.

In blog-related news, I’m thinking about buying a domain name for this place to make it feel a little more like home. Hmm. The Mood Eater is a good name, methinks, so hopefully it’s available. After all, I’m always dealing with my moods and love sharing pics of my meals!

Now I’m off to take a hot bath, drink some hot tea, and veg out with my iPad and TV … have a great night, my friends!

5th Wedding Anniversary

Howdy y’all! How’re you doing? πŸ™‚ I had a wonderful day!

Today was my 5th wedding anniversary to my sweetheart husband! We met 10 years ago in March, and we’ve been together ever since. I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful, strong, warrior man in my life. He puts up with my bipolar shenanigans like a saint too, which is an amazing trait to find in a partner.

The kitties were out sunning themselves this morning … I snapped pics of Calliope and Persephone, but Caprica was too interested in pets to get a non-blurry pic! I’ve come to realize that my best pictures are snaps of animals, particularly the cats and my sister’s horses. Something about animals is just so stinkin’ fun to photograph!

Breakfast

I downed two cups of coffee in break-neck speed along with my laxobolic, epigrow, and my gabapentin, buspar, calcium supplement, and my probiotic. Coffee is my blood, y’all … if I ever need a transfusion, they might as well just inject that shit into my veins!

I kept breakfast simple today as we were going out to dinner to celebrate! I hard-boiled two eggs, topped them with S+P, and ate them with three pieces of bacon and two toasted and buttered pieces of Newman’s Own Honey Wheat toast (it’s not the *healthiest* bread out there, and I aim to buy something better next time, but hey, it still makes for a tasty toast). My breakfast was later in the day as I didn’t wake up terribly hungry and settled for a few more cups of Joe to fuel my earlier hours.

Lunch

Smoothie and an apple for lunch! I had an Ambrosia apple with cinnamon and nutmeg and split a protein smoothie with Luke – a scoop of Protein One vanilla, milk, a large banana, ice, and some cinnamon. I really loved the addition of cinnamon to the smoothie, next time I will also add a dash of vanilla. Yummy.

Luke and I took my car in for a new windshield and new tires (boo, but it’s good to get it all fixed up so the damn thing will pass inspection this month) after we had lunch, and while it was being worked on, we worked on ourselves at the gym! Afterwards we got Drogo a mouse to munch on.

Dinner

Dinner was a trip to Outback Steakhouse! Hooray! Happy Anniversary to us! πŸ™‚We ordered iced teas (no booze for us!) and a Bloomin’ Onion with extra dipping sauce which was very spicy and delicious tonight. I ate about 1/3 of it while Luke at 1/2 … I was already getting very full after our appetizer and half of a loaf of delicious brown bread with butter, but I soldiered on …

… and then we received our entrees! We both ordered a GIANT rib-eye steak, rare, with mushrooms, steakhouse mac n’ cheese, and a loaded baked potato. I ordered a house salad with ranch with mine and promptly ate a good portion of it before touching the rest of my meal … gotta keep those veggies going in, right? The steak was a little salty for my taste, but it was delicious nonetheless. The steakhouse mac n’ cheese was dynamite, and the loaded baked potato was very flavorful too.

Obviously we had TONS of leftovers afterwards … I can probably make two more meals out of mine, and Luke has about one good meal out of his. No dessert for us, we were too full! Overall we were happy with our experience at Outback, as we usually are!

Exercise and Mental Health

Today I tried something new with my eating – I’m going to up my protein game, and I’ve decided to cut back on all of the other things (read: hummus, ranch dressing, salsa … yes, that’s a tall order for me since I love dipping my veggies, but it’ll be worth it). I hope to implement this into my routine.

I also decided to try savoring my food instead of inhaling it like a wolf. I’m bad at stuffing my face quickly, and I need to slow down and enjoy the taste! Surely that’ll help me feel fuller for longer, right? I think so! It worked tonight with Outback. I’m trying something new with my coffee tomorrow too – instead of creamer, I’m going to try Stevia and a hearty pour of 2% milk to see if that doesn’t “healthify” my morning cuppa with some good calcium and a touch of protein.

My weight today was 127.8 lbs … I’m getting to my goal of 130 lbs, slowly but surely! Our meal at Outback will probably bump me up closer for a while, ha!

Luke and I went to the gym for about 45 minutes today and did our chests and some arm exercises. I must admit that chest day is NOT my favorite day as it’s the hardest for me to do, but that just means I need to do it MORE! πŸ™‚ I took a break from cardio today.

Mentally, I’m doing SO STINKIN’ WELL, y’all. My bipolar and anxiety are 100% under control, so hurray!

All in all, this was a WONDERFUL day for me! Have a lovely night, y’all! xoxo

Double Workout Day!

Howdy y’all!

I had a double workout day today and felt compelled to share my adventures and good eats on here.

Breakfast

I was craving a savory and sweet breakfast, so I made avocado-egg toast and a yogurt parfait! My bread was Newman’s Own honey wheat, toasted and topped with half of a baby avocado, a fried egg with S+P and a little bit of cheddar, and Pace salsa. The yogurt was Brown Cow coffee-flavored with a small banana and a teeny drizzle of honey. Starbucks vanilla coffee and silk creamer on the side! A delicious and filling breakfast for sure.

Lunch

Tuna and veggies! I roasted some red onion, a big ol’ carrot, the other half of my baby avocado, some broccoli, and some cauliflower with S+P, garlic powder, and a dash of EVOO. YUM! I had salsa-ranch dressing, Pace salsa, and hummus on the side for dipping (I’m ADDICTED to dipping my veggies, y’all). I also enjoyed a packet of Starkist Thai Chili Style tuna with some cucumber rounds serving as little crackers.

Dinner

Tonight I had Enchilada Chicken – it’s half of a chicken breast covered in red enchilada sauce, some corn, some black beans, S+P, garlic powder, and a bit of shredded sharp cheddar cheese. Alongside my chick-chick, I roasted some mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, red heirloom tomato, and zucchini in butter and olive oil with S+P, Italian Seasoning, and garlic powder and added my usual Pace salsa, ranch dressing, and pine nut hummus alongside for dipping.

Exercise and Mental Health

To burn off some bad juju from Sunday night, I went to the gym for an hour this morning – I did the elliptical for 50 minutes (I was proud of myself as I didn’t stop to pee!) and walked at an arm-swinging pace for 10 minutes. Talk about a mood booster! I felt great after my first sweat-session. Luke and I went back to lift weights in the afternoon and stayed for about 45 minutes – it was ARM DAY, after all, one of my favorite days (okay, you got me, any day that I workout is one of my favorite days, but there’s something about arm day that makes me feel powerful)!

When we got home, I had Luke snap a quick pic of me … I’m pleased with my progress and hope to do a before and after pic eventually. I can see a remarkable different in my shoulders, arms, and legs. I don’t look SUUUPER skinny and unhealthy anymore, and I’m here to say that if a girl who struggled with anorexia and bulimia for 17 long years can do this, YOU CAN TOO. I’m so serious.

What’s my next goal? To GAIN 5 pounds of muscle, y’all! I’m still stuck around 125-128 lbs, and I want to get to 130 … that seems so strange of me to write as I’ve *always* been obsessed with getting my weight lower, not higher.

Mentally, I’m stable after Sunday night’s shenanigans. I feel empowered and have pushed past my PTSD and anxiety through eating well, not drinking alcohol, and exercise. Hooray! πŸ™‚

I also managed to snap an adorable picture of Luke and Persephone before he went to work. She looks so put-out with him, ha!

Now I’m off to watch Bizarre Foods (I love Andrew Zimmern to pieces!) and chillax with some blueberry acai green tea.

Have a GREAT night, my friends!